I was tired.
This past spring, I found myself completely exhausted with barely enough energy to take a shower. All I wanted to do was sleep. I’ve always had sensitive adrenals and there were some pretty big difficulties that were showing up in my life this spring that were hitting my body harder than normal. I have a busy coaching practice and lots of kids activity stuff in the spring so I had also felt a lot of pressure to keep it all together and had moments of feeling like a huge fraud.
I mean, I teach people how to love themselves and slow down and listen to your body! I had been so good at this in the past few years that I think that I thought I could get away with letting the self care stuff slide a bit. And I was wrong...
But, I knew that beating myself up wouldn’t actually get me very far and that if I wanted to come out of this period of my life with my peace of mind in tact, then I’d have to start with curiosity and compassion. The tough relationship stuff that was showing up was needing to be dealt with and not swept under the rug as I ran from one dance competition to another. I knew intuitively that this would be an opportunity for an even deeper level of healing that, in the end, would benefit me. And yet, it was a matter of being honest with myself when my body started to really say SLOW DOWN and deal with it, that I actually got off the track and listened.
This meant that I took off for a weekend to get some quiet space. Quiet until I got a text from my daughter saying that she had forgotten a dance costume and it doesn't work when I am not there! I also knew that if I didn't take that time, that bigger things that missing a dance costume and her being upset at me we not going to work.
And, when I opened to that perspective, I was able to be present in that space that I had taken that weekend. I was able learn so much about myself and why my body was saying slow down, and heal old stories and patterns in my relationships that I didn’t even know were there. As a result, I have delved into an even deeper practice of self love and self care, which, in the end, has been a pretty amazing journey.
So, once I dealt with the relationship issues, I then had to deal with my body feeling tired all the time! The stress had taken a toll. Here are a few things to consider when that happens.
1. Are your hormones/adrenals in balance?
And not just your sex hormones; they are only a small piece of the overall picture. With the help of a Functional Medicine Doctor or a Naturopath, have your thyroid levels (a full panel, not just TSH), your cortisol rhythm (often the cause of feeling tired and wired), and your blood sugar levels tested. A qualified practitioner will be able to help you discern what the root cause is and help you discover any medications and/or supplements to support you.
Before all of this, I often thought that I could “think my way” to feeling better and found that mindset, while wholly powerful, it is just one piece of the overall puzzle. The bottom line is that if your hormones or adrenals are out of whack, even the most judicious lifestyle and mindset changes won’t get you very far and it will feel like you are fighting against yourself all the time.
For questions on how to help balance your hormones and adrenals, email me. I would love to share how to do that naturally!
2. Are you just plain doing to much and pushing yourself too hard? Or putting everyone else before yourself?
In our culture, we have a tendency to worship at the altar of busy. We find ourselves using things like coffee and sugar to make it through the day, ignoring the bodies need for rest. For the women I work with, this is often because we’ve been taught that sacrificing yourself is the “right” thing to do.
But, the Truth is though, if you are laid up in bed like I was this summer, you aren’t able to help others.
You can’t give what you don’t have. Start by doing small things for yourself each day. I created Self Love School to help you do just that. (Learn more about that here. )
3. Are you getting plenty of quality sleep?
This one is a little like “duh”.
Here are some tips for increasing your sleep if this has become a struggle:
put lavender on your pillow or in your essential oil diffuser at night. There are other amazing oils that also help you sleep- check out this blog for more ideas
sleep in a completely dark room. Black out curtains and a sleep mask can help with this.
sleep in a cool room with breathable linens. This is especially true if you have hormonal fluctuations that impact you.
turn off all screens (TV, cell phones, computer, tablets) by 8 PM. Try reading a relaxing book in dim light before bed, instead. The “blue light” of screens disturbs our natural circadian rhythm by tricking your brain into thinking it is still daytime, which will greatly impact your ability to sleep well.
use a sound machine or ear plugs to drown out any noises that may disturb your sleep
It may also be important to get a sleep study done to ensure that you are breathing properly through the night.
4. Are you taking responsibility for other people’s feelings?
If you find yourself going over or trying to solve other people’s problems in your mind (including how they respond to you), you are likely taking responsibility for other people’s emotions.
For us caregiver/healer types, this is a huge one because we naturally want to make sure everyone is OK and empathy is one of our greatest gifts. However, the truth is that you can’t control other people’s emotions and you can’t resolve them, either.
That is their “work” to do, always, 100% of the time. Even if they don't do it!
Dealing with your own emotions is plenty! Let go of the idea that you are responsible for other people. When you notice yourself doing it, remind yourself that they are trustworthy of handling their own emotional experience.