The inner critic
I don’t like the phrase “inner critic.”
On That Internal Voice (Or: My Shitty Greatest Hits)
I’ve never really resonated with the idea of gremlins, vampires, or judges living in my head.
Am I being contrarian? Maybe.
Is it my inner critic? My outer critic?
Possibly.
Or maybe I just understand this very human experience a little differently.
If the gremlin or inner critic framework works for you, I’m not here to take that away. But I do want to open a different door that leads into the same house.
For the sake of this article, I need to call that limiting internal voice something — but I’m not interested in turning it into a creature or an external force. I don’t externalize procrastination or not eating enough vegetables. So this internal voice doesn’t get its own mythology either. Sorry, dude.
You’re not a dude.
You’re a habit.
So I call it my Shitty Greatest Hits — SGH for short.
It’s a familiar thought sequence that gets triggered in my brain. Same old lines. Same tired dialogue. Different situations, same playlist. It’s remarkably uncreative.
Some of my top tracks include:
You can’t do that.
You’ll look stupid.
What if you mess up?
It’ll never work.
He doesn’t really love you.
You don’t know enough.
You aren’t enough.
I’m guessing a few of these are on your personal playlist too.
And they’re not just thoughts. Sometimes I feel them in my body — as resistance, heaviness, or despair. A knot in my stomach. Tears that surprise me. But they always start the same way: with a habitual thought.
Over time, I’ve learned that my SGH almost always play in response to specific triggers. And the more familiar I get with those triggers, the easier it is to say:
Oh. That’s why this is happening.
This feels true — but it isn’t.
Here are some of my most common triggers, along with the counter-actions that help change the music.
Trigger: Hunger
Feels like: Grouchy. Less capable. Everything feels harder.
Action: Eat something. Drink water. Is there chocolate in the house?
Trigger: Loneliness or Isolation
Feels like: I shrink. I doubt myself and my place with others.
Action: Reach out. Talk to a friend. Play with a pet. Even a small connection helps.
Trigger: Tiredness
Feels like: No resistance. No resilience. Hopelessness creeps in.
Action: Nap. Quiet time. Meditation. A bath.
Trigger: Over-scheduling
Feels like: Trapped. Resentful. Like I can’t get off the ride.
Action: Drop something. Say no. Protect sleep and food. Ask for help.
Trigger: Perceived Rejection
Feels like: Invalidated. Defensive. Shut down. Tearful.
Action: Let go of other-esteem. Revisit the situation neutrally. Don’t take it personally.
Trigger: Fear of the Unknown
Feels like: Impending failure. No option feels right.
Action: Remember past wins. Talk to someone who believes in me. Find inspiration.
Trigger: Hormones
Feels like: My brain and body have been hijacked.
Action: Acknowledge it. Forgive myself. Remind myself it will pass. Laugh if possible.
Trigger: Personal or Professional Growth
Feels like: Exposed. Awkward. Uncomfortable.
Action: Let it feel weird. Recognize this as a symptom of growth. Celebrate both wins and mistakes.
My SGH never play randomly. They always spin in response to a trigger.
There’s never a brand-new, brilliant song that appears out of nowhere and propels me forward. As a habit, my brain reacts to stressors in predictable, limiting ways.
But awareness changes the relationship.
By noticing the triggers, recognizing the playlist, and choosing different actions, I slowly rewire the pattern. The music may still start automatically — but it plays softer now. And it skips toward the end of the track much faster.
The needle might hit the record…
but it’s still my choice whether I want to dance to it.